What is positive praise? Do you find yourself repeatedly using the same generic compliments with your child? Maybe you're not sure of the impact of your words or if they believe you?
Firstly, hats off to you! You’re already amazing and doing a great job!
You recognize that words are powerful! And as parents, our words have the greatest influence than just about anyone else your child can interact with.
Reciting positive affirmations to your child or simply complimenting could be a powerful tool for building their sense of self. You’re already doing that!
We all know how much of an impact affirmations can have on the subconscious mind; molding and shaping our psyche. Compliments and positive feedback we give our children work as affirmations. They mold and shape our children’s beliefs about themselves. That’s a lot of responsibility for our compliments!
Let’s explore how we can make our words of praise more impactful.
“My child will often reject my compliments. He draws something nice and I say, ‘Sammy, that’s beautiful!’ And he responds, ‘No it’s not'!”
Is there a way to compliment more effectively that the child won’t reject and deny our words of praise?
Here are 3 simple guidelines to follow:
1. Focus on the effort, not on the outcome.
2. Look for the details and try to be specific.
3. Look at your child as you say it. Smile and connect with them!
Instead of saying, "It’s so beautiful", try saying ‘Wow, I love how you included our house in the background…and everyone looks so realistic! I could tell that you really worked hard on that!”
Instead of saying, "Wow, I’m so proud of you", try saying, "I’m proud of how you shared your favorite toy with the neighbors today. I know that was hard for you."
Instead of saying, "You did such a great job cleaning your room", try, "I love how you put everything where it belongs! Especially the way you lined up the shoes so neatly.".
When compliments are specific they are so much harder to deny!
When we focus on the process we make the child feel that they are valued and appreciated regardless of the end result!
(Added Bonus: Doing this also encourages the same practice within your child, and how he /she relates to others. Less judgment and more acceptance, as they are conscious of the process more so than the results!)
When we look at our child and smile when we compliment… do I even need to explain that one?!
This works for children of all ages, and adults too!
We love to learn from you!
Send us a DM @loominilearning or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org and share with us a compliment that you used with your child this week!
Tip of the week:
Meaningful and effective praise is detailed; focused on the process rather than the results, and fosters connection.
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